Still only partially conscious, I’m sitting at the kitchen table this morning, peacefully thinking about the day ahead.

I barely even noticed doing it, but suddenly the air was so thick I could barely breathe.  The thing must have lingered there a full minute too, which made finishing my cereal a  pretty serious problem.  I still had that morning mental haze going on, so I just sat there and took it, half-choking, unable to think about moving to another room.

Fart-Meter:

• Stink factor: 8/10
• Volume: 0/10
• Characteristics: sneaky, warm
• Trip to the John solved it: about 2 hours later
• Fart Fuel: tofu hotdog
• Casualties: me, the plant, and the fish