According to the US Department of (g)Agriculture, here’s the list you’ve all been waiting for:

1. Soybeans
2. Pink Beans
3. Black Beans
4. Pinto Beans
5. California Small White Beans
6. Great Northern Beans
7. Lima Beans
8. Garbanzo Beans
9. Blackeyed Beans

Note to gents: Avoid the consumption of these or any other beans (”pork and beans”, “refried beans”, “bean salad”, etc.) before any critical events! Beans = Fart Pills!!